On Seeking Attunement over Purpose

A Grief Spell for the Wake of the Scorpio Full Moon

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Dear Shapeshifters,

All of the grief work I’ve fallen into has been emergent. Like a tattoo you get and then interpret over the years to mean things you didn’t consider when you were first drawn to it.

And lately I’ve been in a lot of the “why’s”…like why…. write? why…..create? why…. seasonal newsletters? why…. talk about grief and magic? why right now? why when the world is on fire? (And I’ve explored some of these questions in “Why Seasons? Grief, Time Travel, and Resurrecting the Sensuous”).

Truthfully, I didn’t know nor could I clearly articulate any of these why’s until writing about them.

I’ve learned that one of my whys is…I often write and create to attune to myself and the world. To sit with and find out what’s here.

And in the wake of this big feeling Scorpio full moon, I’ve been thinking of creativity and magic as practices of attunement, under systems that coerce us to not be attuned to ourselves or one another.

There’s a lot out there that encourages us to get really clear about our whys and our purpose as precursors for what we do in the world. To come back to our whys as anchors and motivation when we feel lost. And I do find that powerful at times.

But I also think that being lost is fucking beautiful and where I’ve learned the most about being alive. Being lost means we are forced to reorient to (and sense more deeply) the world and ourselves. The unfamiliar is an invitation to presence.

And I think searching for “Why’s” can sometimes be a bit of a trap - when it feels more like a striving for legibility, palatability, logic, conciseness, an elevator pitch for a narrow sense of the self, a capital P purpose, a clear, steady, singular, strategic, reliable, “THIS is who I am and THIS is what I’m here to do!”. When it feels like if we can just communicate our Why’s quickly and clearly enough, we will have Purpose.

…this flavor of Purpose can become a box that doesn’t allow us to be uncertain and changing and fully alive—aka fucking around and finding out.

So instead of Why’s and Purposes, I’ve been coming back to the magic of attunement:

Attunement as a becoming present to our own bodies and senses, a kind of erotic embodiment, a deeper sensing of what brings us joy, that allows for whys as simple as “it feels right to me”(Audre Lorde), but also allows for us to be uncertain.

And simultaneously, attunement as group dance or song, as “bringing into harmony”, as inherently relational, as a remembering of ourselves as inextricable from everyone else. Attunement as a presencing to self AND other, not a trampling of one over the other. Attunement NOT as a pearl grasping retreat into ease, but a recognizing of what’s resourcing and supportive, so that we might better care for ourselves and one another when shit is not easy.

Instead of questions like: why am I here? Attunement asks, what’s here? who’s here? how does it feel? What do I notice?

When we come back to attunement, rather than Purpose, we are allowed to not know, and to instead invited to experience.

May the wake of this glorious, pink, Scorpio full moon help us compost any capital P purposes that keep us from deeply sensing, fiercely loving, and creating bravely together.

xo

Mara June

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GRIEF MAGIC: TIMEBENDING, SHAPESHIFTING, AND BECOMING MULTITUDES

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Grief Magic Self Paced Study is a year long course exploring themes around grief, magic, creativity, and shapeshifting in tune with the seasons.

WHAT’S INCLUDED IN THE SELF PACED STUDY:

Each season, you’ll receive:

• Recordings of bonus workshops with guest instructors

• An audio recording and PDF summary handout of seasonal/ ecological stories and inspiration for grief and creative process

• A PDF of with creative prompts drawing inspiration from each season

• A PDF guide to a grief ritual or practice inspired by the season

• A PDF list of additional resources

• Access to a discord specifically for other self paced study participants

• Additional bonus recordings of exercises and materials released throughout the year

*There are 6 seasons included in the course, beginning in April 2024 and moving through March 2025 - see the main Grief Magic course page for a more detailed outline of seasonal themes.

• Cost - $30 per month for 12 months